About damn time that I got here.
I rolled in one Sunday in December while on my way to pick up my parents at O’Hare. I was hoping to post up and catch some football and drink at one of the premier joints in the Midwest.
I was happy to roll up and find that they shared a parking lot in an industrial area with their Three Floyd’s Distillery. The distillery looked like it was still under construction, but fuck it.
Besides beer, liquor is one of my favorite things to drink.
The inside of this joint was an accidental tribute to Northwest Hipster scene. No football on the television, just a Star Wars movie with no sound. Sound would have distracted from the iPod that was plugged in playing the Amos Lee or Ray LaMontagne greatest hits that was keeping it mellow.
I was not disappointed with this because it was such an authentic breath of fresh air to be in a joint that smelled like the Cascade Mountains.
Do the Cascade Mountains smell like pine? No. They smell like fish hippy and marijuana.
I ponied up to the bar and began to drink. The bar tender looked to be a good 6’3″, 250, and had a beard that acted as its own bouncer. When he spoke he sounded gay.
I hope he was gay. If he wasn’t, it would totally have ruined the Northwest vibe.
The drunk next to me should have been drinking for free because he was the greatest hype man in the history of brew house hype men.
“Yeah, that’s a great one,” he said every time I looked at the beer list.
Or, “Do you like IPAs? A lot of people don’t like IPAs, but I like IPAs because the hops are what make the beer.”
Thank you for the wisdom Fucker.
I will give him credit though, he talked me into ordering the bacon and duck fat popcorn. And it tasted like bacon and duck fat popcorn.
The best part of the experience, however was the authenticity of the joint. It’s easy to be a brewery in Washington or Oregon. The scene is doing it in the Midwest but it isn’t there yet. I don’t know if it is the proximity to Chicago, the proximity to a D1 university at Valparaiso, or what it is, but Three Floyds is everything that is good about drinking microbrew.
Buy Me a Beer Ass Hole 